alt:
"Founded on bones and blood in 1776, America slowly developed geniuses known as CEOs who invented a new way of maximizing profits: cutting every cost of the production process that ensures safety and quality assurance. The result has been many deaths, but humans are just another resource that you factor into the cost of production.
The Government handed out money to corporations that were the best at fitting their entire staff into one room and then crushing that room with a giant machine. "Surely this will encourage more employee crushings," said the President as he signed a bill making it illegal to be alive and then passed away.
Will things work ever again? The answer is likely no, but if I say 'maybe' will you buy my book? It's uh, only fifty-seven pages and was ghost-written by a medium-sized rat that l've been keeping in a cage with a keyboard. I haven't read it yet so I don't know if it's any good.
WARNING: book may explode and take your life when opened"
